Gainesville Family Lawyer -- Leslie Smith Haswell, P.A.

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Negotiating Tips for Your Divorce

Seven Tips for Negotiating Your Divorce Settlement

Regardless of how long you have been married, negotiating a settlement is the most important part of the divorce process. It's not easy, but working with your spouse to arrive at mutually agreed terms of your marital dissolution is easier on your wallet, your emotional well-being, and especially your children.  Whatever conditions caused the breakdown in the marriage are likely still present throughout the divorce negotiation, exacerbated by emotions such as anger and fear as you each transition into the next stage of your lives.

However, staying focused on what’s best for your future will serve you well as you navigate these tumultuous waters. Taking your divorce case to trial and letting the court decide what will become of your property or children is rarely in your best interest. Although you may not get everything you hoped for during a settlement negotiation, you will save a tremendous amount of money, time and emotional anguish.

Divorce settlement negotiations involve a degree of both skill and art, both of which can be attained by following a few simple tips. Even if your attorney is doing the negotiating on your behalf, it is important that you are clear regarding your priorities, so you can make decisions that are truly in your own best interest for the future life you are establishing post-divorce.
Negotiating a settlement agreement necessarily involves a certain amount of give and take, on both sides, so keep in mind that you most likely won’t get everything you want. But following the tips below can help ensure you get what’s most important to you.

  • Establish clear priorities.  What is your pie-in-the-sky outcome?  What can't you live without?
  • Know what you can give up completely, where you can be flexible and those critical items where you are unable to budge.  
  • Be realistic about your options and the bigger picture, so you can be reasonable when you must “give” something in order to “take” something.
  • Stay focused on the negotiation itself, and your future; avoid recalling past resentments or re-opening past wounds.  You may think "revenge" will feel good, but don't let it get in the way of your long-term goals--and don't let it run up your bill!
  • If your soon-to-be-ex-spouse becomes emotional or subjects you to personal attacks, try not to take it personally. This is easier said than done, but it is important to stay focused on your priorities and realize that such “noise” does not get you any closer to a settlement agreement.
  • If you spouse presents you with a settlement offer, consider it carefully and discuss it with your attorney. It may not include everything you want, but it may be a fair trade-off in order to finalize your divorce and move on with your new life.
  • If you are negotiating your own settlement agreement, consult with an attorney before you make an offer to your spouse or sign any proposed agreement.  An agreement signed by both parties is a done deal.  Make sure it's a deal you understand and want.

By keeping the focus on your priorities, and avoiding the emotionally-charged aspects of your marriage, you can ensure you negotiate a divorce settlement agreement that you can live with.
 

"Selfie" Divorce

Know the Risks of “Selfie” Divorce

Selfies are great!  But do-it-yourself divorce is fraught with risks – even if your case is “simple” and both parties agree on all issues regarding division of property, support, and child custody and visitation. As many have learned the hard way, it is all too easy to make critical missteps today that will come back to haunt you down the road.

The proliferation of do-it-yourself websites and non-attorney legal document preparers give the impression that the process is simpler than it is. These services can help you deal with the court forms required to dissolve a marriage, including financial disclosures, motions, hearing notices and child support paperwork. It’s tempting to save money by using one of these services to prepare and file your divorce forms without using a lawyer.

Unfortunately, these services will leave you in the lurch when things do not go as planned, as they cannot offer you any legal advice or engage in any negotiations on your behalf. Worse still, they cannot point out the pitfalls contained in your paperwork which can pose risks to your financial future long after you think you’ve put the marriage behind you.

The typical do-it-yourselfer believes that everything is correctly resolved because the court accepted and processed the forms and has issued the divorce decree. However, this may or may not be the case; and any problems can remain undiscovered for years until, for example, one spouse embarks on a significant financial transaction such as purchasing a home.
A common scenario involves incomplete (or incorrect) provisions in a marital settlement agreement, leaving both spouses legally on the hook for a mortgage. What happens when the spouse who kept the home and obligated to make the monthly payments fails to do so? What happens when the other spouse applies for a mortgage on a new home, but the amount of the monthly payment of the previous mortgage is still considered when calculating the debt-to-income ratio? This is just one example of how “saving money” on the front end of your divorce can cost you greatly in the future.

Even if your divorce is “uncontested,” in that you and your spouse agree on all of the settlement terms, getting legal advice upfront will ensure the process goes smoothly and that you do not encounter any unpleasant surprises in the future. A consultation with a family law attorney can identify what issues must be addressed, point out potential negative consequences of certain decisions, and let you know what to expect throughout the divorce process.

If your divorce case is “contested,” meaning you cannot agree on terms regarding your property or children, it is important that you consult with a lawyer to obtain a realistic idea of what you can expect based on your legal rights under the circumstances. And, unlike the do-it-yourself services, an attorney can also represent your interests during settlement negotiations. If settlement negotiations are unsuccessful, your lawyer can ensure the court fully considers all information in your favor prior to making any rulings.
Selfies are great, and one reason is because you can always get a do-over.  But when a judge signs a divorce decree, say goodbye to do-overs.

Prenup Considerations

Prenup Considerations Before You Say I Do

Most people think of marriage as a declaration of love and commitment, not as a legal contract that defines the financial and familial obligations of each party. That is, until they start negotiating a divorce settlement and discover their state’s policy on the division of marital property and spousal support. Although not every couple establishes a prenuptial agreement, there are several good reasons for having a smart prenup in place before saying those magical words, “I do.”

What is a Prenup?
A prenuptial agreement is a legal document that allows the couple to make decisions about their finances and marital property should they eventually decide to part ways. You cannot circumvent the child custody statutes in your state through a prenuptial agreement, although you can decide who gets to keep the family dog. The terms of the prenup must be legal and should be fair to both parties. For instance, an agreement that would leave one spouse homeless with no source of income would not be enforceable.

A prenup is particularly useful when one, or both parties, enter into the marriage with valuable assets or has children from a previous relationship. Older couples are more likely to consider a prenup because they have more assets to lose. Those who are exchanging matrimonial vows for a second or third time recognize that having a customized financial game plan in place can make divorce proceedings less stressful.

A prenup can eliminate later disputes over assets during a divorce and save the couple from acrimonious, time consuming and stressful litigation. 

When Should You Consider a Prenup?
A prenup might be a good idea if you have any of the following concerns:

  • Providing peace of mind for the partner who has significantly more income or wealth
  • Making sure your business remains intact, in your name
  • Defining assets such as property, a retirement fund or investments as separate property, not marital property
  • Retaining possession of family property, heirlooms or an anticipated inheritance after a divorce
  • Looking after the long-term interests of children from a previous marriage
  • Worrying that changing your career plan to raise children will leave you at a financial disadvantage
  • Avoiding interference with an estate plan
  • Financing long-term care for elderly parents or relatives

Starting Your Marriage the Right Way
The divorce laws in most states work on the assumption that both partners in a marriage have agreed to pool their tangible and intangible assets, and the courts generally attempt to make an equitable and fair division of these assets following a divorce.  A prenuptial agreement gives you and your intended spouse the opportunity to consider potential areas of disagreement regarding your financial future and address them in a forthright and realistic manner.

If You Are Not Marrying
Even if you are not marrying but intend to live together, it is a good idea to have a contract defining what happens in the case of a break up.  It can save a lot of emotional trauma, and perhaps a lawsuit, later.